truths to live by
(beauty: canon 30d)
The most beautiful of humans sent me this: I will not be a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, posses as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.
on the sublime
(the blurred road less travelled: iphone)
When I consider…the small space I occupy and which I see swallowed up in the infinite immensity of the spaces of which I know nothing and which know nothing of me, I take fright and am amazed to see myself here rather than there, now rather than then. Who put me here?
Pascal
If…
(bulldozed homes, west bank: canon 20d)
…. war is the answer, it must be a very stupid question.
proverb?
(a pip-ism, wake up and go to love, not to work: canon 30d)
Do a job you love and you’ll never work again.
more maybes
(new horizons: canon 30d)
A wise man once said to me that there were many paths to follow in this life, but when you find the path of heart as opposed to the path of convenience, well it’s a good path to be on. I watched on You Tube, in the wee small hours of the morning, part of an old programme on reconciliation with Desmond Tutu , and being exposed to his humility, wisdom, energy and profound sense of what it means to be both a spiritual and human being has brought me to a border of maybes. There is something about borderlines; that place of decision, of something new – the unknown, the chance to begin again. I have always believed that borders embrace hope…they allow us to reach out beyond ourselves. The chance I suppose to embrace faith in some way – the environment where faith in humankind can manifest itself once more.
Some maybes are precious – they take you to the edge, and although you don’t go over you become richer for the maybe. The maybe leaves you at the place of choice and consequence, revealing the different textures in life. I suppose it’s this juxtaposition which makes it apparent. Some maybes don’t go away – one must learn how to manage them day to day. On one hand I have come a long way, and I should draw strength from that. Yet in many ways I am no farther forward, just farther along. There is a horizon before me, which holds uncharted territory; and the question remains, what am I to be?
here’s the secret…maybe
(gethsemane: canon 20d)
We are all fundamentally the same. we all belong to a common, broken humanity. We all have wounded and vulnerable hearts. Each one of us needs to feel appreciated and understood; in truth, we all need help.
But here’s the secret, i see more clearly now that those who are weak and broken and in need have a secret power to touch hearts and bring us together into mutual belonging, whatever our background…i think i have said this before, but i don’t mind saying it again; the strength in Christianity is found in the fragrance of gethsemane and calvary…not pentecost
my fear
(the wilderness of the Christ: canon 20d)
My God moment this morning…
All of my life I’ve held on to this fear
These thistles and vines ensnare and entwine
What flowers appeared
It’s the fear that I’ll fall one too many times
It’s the fear that His love is no better than mine
(Andrew Peterson)
feelings
(two pillars of justice: canon 20d)
I have been reflecting through most of the night, went to bed early for me on a Friday night (the very fact it was still Friday and not Saturday morning). I woke at 2.48am and didn’t sleep again ’til gone 6am. My mind and heart racing, longing, confused, hopeful and worn (there’s my 5 words Pip). Anyhow talking of Pip I nipped to his blog and came across this:
Would love to know what you think
and feel – even more vital!!
Feelings are signals
Feelings are good
Pains are signals
Pains are good
We would be in a real mess without them …………….
How very true…even in our mess now, our mess without them would be worse – I mean imagine not feeling? As the remarkable Nick Cave suggests, that ‘people often talk about being scared of change, but for me I’m more afraid of things staying the same. ‘Cause the game is never won by standing in one place for too long.’
A year ago today I returned from Palestine, and I have to say that since then I have struggled to be comfortable because of my feelings; feelings that were born from seeing the apartheid of the West Bank and Gaza. To squirm around the edges isn’t possible anymore. The scars will last forever…
We never see the moon without the promise of the sun though, do we?
Everyday now I have to facilitate feelings – my life now is restorative justice, whether it be in prison, schools, probation, police, youth justice, action for children or the courts – there we bring victims and offenders together to look at harm caused to people, what harmers were feeling and thinking as they robbed, assaulted or abused others… the outcome and healing with reparation is remarkable. It does though leave me uncomfortable in my own skin. I feel like a gardener whose own garden is a shit heap, a builder who can’t seem to sort his own house out. Does this make sense?
Jeff Halper seems to capture my feelings with some words he penned a while back about the place I returned from last year. He says that, ‘It is a process, a continual struggle. But it is a necessary step toward redeeming an unjust past, underpinned by notions of restorative and transformative justice, and, of course human rights. Only through such a restorative process can normalisation be achieved.’
indeed.
what i do part II
(hope: canon 30d)
Last year, 15-year-old schoolboy Martin* took a drug overdose because he was so depressed and intimidated by bullying he was suffering at school.
Two brothers had bullied Martin in the year above him over several months. They had been hitting him, ripping his uniform, calling him names, spitting at him and threatening violence. He wasn’t the only victim: the brothers had bullied other pupils, and the school had tried to resolve the problem through a range of strategies, including excluding the two bullies.
“When Martin took his overdose, the normal approach would have been to exclude the wrongdoers again,” says Catherine*, Manager of Children’s Services’ Behaviour Improvement Programme (BIP). “However, as this hadn’t had any long term impact, a new approach was needed. The BIP had been developing the use of restorative approaches in schools, and it was decided to hold a restorative justice conference.
Catherine asked John, a police officer on the BIP’s Behaviour in Education Support Team (BEST)**, if he would facilitate the conference. John first approached Martin and his family, and they agreed to participate. He then visited the two wrongdoers, Eddie* and Paul*, and their family. They also agreed to take part.
“I spent a lot of time with all concerned, preparing them for the conference, explaining what would happen, listening to their stories and encouraging everyone to share how they had been affected by what was happening,” says John. When everyone was ready, the conference was held in the learning mentors’ room at the school. Aside from Martin, Eddie, Paul and their families, a learning mentor and Martin’s head of year attended.
‘The conference gave a voice to everyone involved, and both Martin’s story and that of his family had a huge impact on Paul and Eddie and their family,” says Catherine. “Eddie and Paul showed true remorse, crying when they realised the harm they had caused. At the end of the conference, an agreement was drawn up. The boys all agreed to look out for each other, and staff arranged to support all the boys.
“When he found out more about them, Martin said he felt sorry for Eddie and Paul,” says Catherine. “They were having family problems and had been away for a while. While they were away they had been badly bullied themselves, so when they came back they decided that they would bully first rather than be bullied.
“Martin felt sad for them that they had been pushed into feeling like that, and also that they didn’t have a stable home like he did.
“He also said this was the first time he had been able to get things off his chest and get answers to his questions. In the RJ conference, he kept asking, ‘Why was I the victim?’ He wondered if there was somehow a flaw in his personality. Ultimately, though, he just felt glad that, unlike the brothers, he didn’t feel he had anything to prove.
“At the end of the conference, Martin said: ‘for the first time, people have let me talk and really listen to how hurt I’ve been. I don’t feel angry any more. I feel stronger than I have felt for a long time because I know you have felt my pain too’.”
Since the conference neither Eddie nor Paul has been involved in any bullying.
“We soon realised that it was important to give all our schools a chance to get involved,” says Matt*, the Centre’s Restorative Justice Development Officer. “So we linked up with Catherine and her team on the Behaviour Improvement Programme in order to pool time, resources and effort.”
The two teams now work in partnership, and a comprehensive training programme has now been developed. Thirty-six primary and secondary schools are now involved, and hundreds of staff, pupils and parents have been provided with a range of positive strategies for addressing issues of behaviour and attendance.
“The impact of restorative practice in schools has been tremendous, “ says Catherine. “Since the introduction of Solution Focused and Restorative Approaches in 2004, permanent exclusions in the BIP schools have fallen by 50 per cent, and fixed term exclusions have fallen by nearly 84 per cent.”
“Before RJ, schools would often exclude naughty children rather than seek a solution to the problem. This meant that when kids returned to school, nothing would have been resolved and often kids would have multiple exclusions because problems would just flare up again,” says Catherine.
“There is no accountability in exclusion or detention,” Catherine explains. “Whereas with RJ the offending child has to face up to what they have done. It also teaches children listening skills and empathy. It is inclusive, rather than exclusive. It gives the victim a voice and, most important, everyone who needs it is offered support.”
RJ isn’t just about conferences. Some schools have opted for a ‘whole school’ approach, with all staff, including teachers, clerical and lunchtime staff trained in a range of restorative techniques including conferencing, circle time and ‘restorative discussions’. Recently there have been workshops for parents, too, teaching them non-confrontational communication.
There is a lot of informal conferencing. Matt relates the tale of a cleaner whose newly mopped floor was ruined by a youngster who ran up and skidded through it.
“When the cleaner asked the boy to stop, he just turned round and told her to ‘F-off’,” says Matt. “At that point, the deputy head, who had just been on RJ training, intervened. Instead of sending the boy to the head teacher, he calmly asked what had happened. It turned out that the lad was rushing because he was late for a test. He was stressed, so when the cleaner challenged him he reacted aggressively. He hadn’t realised how much he had upset her, but when the cleaner explained how she felt, he apologised.
“The cleaner accepted the apology. The lad then asked if he was going to be put on detention, so the deputy asked both parties if they were happy. The cleaner said she was. She said she now understood why the boy was running, and felt that his apology was sincere. So a detention wasn’t necessary and the situation had been happily resolved. The whole thing took about three minutes. Afterwards the cleaner said how grateful she was. She said it was the first time in nine years she had felt listened to and respected.”
Says Matt: “RJ takes a lot of pressure off the higher grade staff. In some schools we have trained canteen and welfare staff to deal with conflict appropriately themselves. Some head teachers used to spend 90 minutes a day just dealing with problems that had arisen over the lunch hour, so training other staff to cope has decreased the workload of senior staff considerably.”
The Centre has a remit to take restorative justice to the whole borough, and to this end provides training not just for schools but for children’s homes, housing departments, the police, librarians and even the Coast and Countryside Rangers.
But to Matt schools are especially important. “Schools are of the community,” he says. “Problems in school often spill over into the community. For example, bullying or fighting on schools buses is common, and there have been cases of anti-social behaviour, such as vandalism, involving school children.” The Centre has worked in partnership with schools and other bodies, such as the police, to resolve many such cases. In several cases the alternative would have been criminal proceedings or an anti-social behaviour order (ASBO). “Some youngsters see an ASBO as a badge of honour,” comments Matt. “RJ is better because it builds up the community again. It repairs relationships.”
* Names changed to protect identity
