what i do part II

(hope: canon 30d)

Last year, 15-year-old schoolboy Martin* took a drug overdose because he was so depressed and intimidated by bullying he was suffering at school.

Two brothers had bullied Martin in the year above him over several months. They had been hitting him, ripping his uniform, calling him names, spitting at him and threatening violence. He wasn’t the only victim: the brothers had bullied other pupils, and the school had tried to resolve the problem through a range of strategies, including excluding the two bullies.

“When Martin took his overdose, the normal approach would have been to exclude the wrongdoers again,” says Catherine*, Manager of Children’s Services’ Behaviour Improvement Programme (BIP). “However, as this hadn’t had any long term impact, a new approach was needed. The BIP had been developing the use of restorative approaches in schools, and it was decided to hold a restorative justice conference.

Catherine asked John, a police officer on the BIP’s Behaviour in Education Support Team (BEST)**, if he would facilitate the conference. John first approached Martin and his family, and they agreed to participate. He then visited the two wrongdoers, Eddie* and Paul*, and their family.  They also agreed to take part.

“I spent a lot of time with all concerned, preparing them for the conference, explaining what would happen, listening to their stories and encouraging everyone to share how they had been affected by what was happening,” says John. When everyone was ready, the conference was held in the learning mentors’ room at the school. Aside from Martin, Eddie, Paul and their families, a learning mentor and Martin’s head of year attended.

‘The conference gave a voice to everyone involved, and both Martin’s story and that of his family had a huge impact on Paul and Eddie and their family,” says Catherine. “Eddie and Paul showed true remorse, crying when they realised the harm they had caused. At the end of the conference, an agreement was drawn up. The boys all agreed to look out for each other, and staff arranged to support all the boys.

“When he found out more about them, Martin said he felt sorry for Eddie and Paul,” says Catherine. “They were having family problems and had been away for a while. While they were away they had been badly bullied themselves, so when they came back they decided that they would bully first rather than be bullied.

“Martin felt sad for them that they had been pushed into feeling like that, and also that they didn’t have a stable home like he did.

“He also said this was the first time he had been able to get things off his chest and get answers to his questions. In the RJ conference, he kept asking, ‘Why was I the victim?’ He wondered if there was somehow a flaw in his personality. Ultimately, though, he just felt glad that, unlike the brothers, he didn’t feel he had anything to prove.

“At the end of the conference, Martin said: ‘for the first time, people have let me talk and really listen to how hurt I’ve been. I don’t feel angry any more. I feel stronger than I have felt for a long time because I know you have felt my pain too’.”

Since the conference neither Eddie nor Paul has been involved in any bullying.

“We soon realised that it was important to give all our schools a chance to get involved,” says Matt*, the Centre’s Restorative Justice Development Officer. “So we linked up with Catherine and her team on the Behaviour Improvement Programme in order to pool time, resources and effort.”

The two teams now work in partnership, and a comprehensive training programme has now been developed. Thirty-six primary and secondary schools are now involved, and hundreds of staff, pupils and parents have been provided with a range of positive strategies for addressing issues of behaviour and attendance.

“The impact of restorative practice in schools has been tremendous, “ says Catherine. “Since the introduction of Solution Focused and Restorative Approaches in 2004, permanent exclusions in the BIP schools have fallen by 50 per cent, and fixed term exclusions have fallen by nearly 84 per cent.”

“Before RJ, schools would often exclude naughty children rather than seek a solution to the problem. This meant that when kids returned to school, nothing would have been resolved and often kids would have multiple exclusions because problems would just flare up again,” says Catherine.

“There is no accountability in exclusion or detention,” Catherine explains. “Whereas with RJ the offending child has to face up to what they have done. It also teaches children listening skills and empathy. It is inclusive, rather than exclusive. It gives the victim a voice and, most important, everyone who needs it is offered support.”

RJ isn’t just about conferences. Some schools have opted for a ‘whole school’ approach, with all staff, including teachers, clerical and lunchtime staff trained in a range of restorative techniques including conferencing, circle time and ‘restorative discussions’. Recently there have been workshops for parents, too, teaching them non-confrontational communication.

There is a lot of informal conferencing. Matt relates the tale of a cleaner whose newly mopped floor was ruined by a youngster who ran up and skidded through it.

“When the cleaner asked the boy to stop, he just turned round and told her to ‘F-off’,” says Matt. “At that point, the deputy head, who had just been on RJ training, intervened. Instead of sending the boy to the head teacher, he calmly asked what had happened. It turned out that the lad was rushing because he was late for a test. He was stressed, so when the cleaner challenged him he reacted aggressively. He hadn’t realised how much he had upset her, but when the cleaner explained how she felt, he apologised.

“The cleaner accepted the apology. The lad then asked if he was going to be put on detention, so the deputy asked both parties if they were happy. The cleaner said she was. She said she now understood why the boy was running, and felt that his apology was sincere. So a detention wasn’t necessary and the situation had been happily resolved. The whole thing took about three minutes. Afterwards the cleaner said how grateful she was. She said it was the first time in nine years she had felt listened to and respected.”

Says Matt: “RJ takes a lot of pressure off the higher grade staff. In some schools we have trained canteen and welfare staff to deal with conflict appropriately themselves. Some head teachers used to spend 90 minutes a day just dealing with problems that had arisen over the lunch hour, so training other staff to cope has decreased the workload of senior staff considerably.”

The Centre has a remit to take restorative justice to the whole borough, and to this end provides training not just for schools but for children’s homes, housing departments, the police, librarians and even the Coast and Countryside Rangers.

But to Matt schools are especially important. “Schools are of the community,” he says. “Problems in school often spill over into the community. For example, bullying or fighting on schools buses is common, and there have been cases of anti-social behaviour, such as vandalism, involving school children.” The Centre has worked in partnership with schools and other bodies, such as the police, to resolve many such cases. In several cases the alternative would have been criminal proceedings or an anti-social behaviour order (ASBO). “Some youngsters see an ASBO as a badge of honour,” comments Matt. “RJ is better because it builds up the community again. It repairs relationships.”

* Names changed to protect identity

ain’t it the truth

canon s 70

when you compare the old testament God with the new testament God it becomes clear that a kid really changes you

hidden from view

On October 18 2008 we travelled to a land once known as holy – it changed us all forever.

Assalamu alaikum

Wounded god – why do we dislike some people so much

That we build walls around them and hide them from view?

Is it fear that drives this strange paranoia?

People should not be hidden from view –

Our giving should be and even our praying –

But not people – they are treasure.

We are building more walls now –

Especially to hide Arabs in Palestine and Iraq.

The remarkable theologian Bishop Kenneth Cragg says,

‘Only wounded hands can reshape the world.’

As he points out that following God’s example

There is no place now

For the law of revenge in God’s community

This vulnerable God does not resort to any strategy

Where the other is denied or coerced

Or hidden from view.

(Garth Hewitt)

(canon 400d)

(canon 20d)

Countdown to CO(2)PENHAGEN

(spring tide, st. peter port harbour: canon 30d)

On Wednesday morning exactly a year ago today I got on the red eye (with both my red eyes) to join Christian Aid supporters from all corners of Britain to help kick off the next stage of their climate change campaign, Countdown to Copenhagen, by gathering to form a people map in Geraldine Mary Harmsworth Park, London.

The UN climate summit in Copenhagen this year will decide how the world combats climate change in the decades ahead. It’s vital that an effective deal is completed at Copenhagen, for the sake of the planet and for the millions in the poorest countries who are suffering from the effects of climate change right now.

It’s bad enough that every night 962 million people go to bed (if they have one) hungry but for some time now the world’s leading scientists are saying that CO2 emissions are altering the earth’s climate, and the world’s poor (as usual) are bearing the brunt of global warming. Christian Aid Director Daleep Mukarjl added this week, “yet those suffering most have not caused these emissions: the industrialised countries are largely to blame. They built their economies by burning the fossil fuels that cause global warming.”

Evidently in Senegal each person emits an average of 0.4 tonnes of CO2 per year but in the UK that rises to 9.2 tonnes, across Europe 8.8 tonnes, and (surprise surprise) in the US each individual emits a staggering 20.1 tonnes every year! Wealthier countries such as the UK, which have been major contributors to global warming, bear the greatest responsibility for tackling climate change. A delegation from Christian Aid went to see Labour MP Joan Riddock – a meeting that was only made possible by the coming together of Christian Aid volunteers from all corners of the UK – and lobbied for the Government to cut carbon emissions and pay for poorer countries to develop cleanly.

Marcos Nordgren a Christian Aid partner from Bolivia spoke of how over the last 20 years the rain season has changed from being five months long to now just over two. Since 1850 the global temperature has risen by .76 degrees centigrade, and many scientists point out that two thirds of this change has happened in the last 30 years. Eleven of the twelve warmest years since 1850 have occurred in the last twelve years.

Scientists now believe there will be a global catastrophe if temperatures rise another two degrees. If this happens 30 million more people will go hungry and up to 60 more million will become exposed to diseases such as malaria. See levels around the world will rise by a meter. This will mean for countries like Bangladesh 14% of the population will have to move to higher land. And that would be the equivalent of the whole of the population of Scotland and Wales having to leaves their homes and their livelihoods and move.

Copenhagen is the single most important opportunity for developed countries to commit themselves to reducing at least 80% of their emissions while providing adequate financing for poor countries to develop in a clean manner and also top adapt to the impact of climate change. I have said this before and will again, this is not about charity, it’s about justice and equality. As a certain mr hewson says, true religion will not let us fall asleep in the comfort of our freedom. Love thy neighbour is not a piece of advice – it’s a command and that means in the global village we’re going to have to start loving a whole lot more people.

An international climate deal will be negotiated at the United Nations talks in Copenhagen in December this year. This is our opportunity to prevent catastrophic climate change. I guess once more it’s time to make a difference to the world’s poor, and not just them but ourselves as well.

life-changing moments

(a day i loved: canon 30d)

Yesterday in church an old lady described her life-changing moment, it stirred some old reflections – it moved me. I remember when I was in theological College the first piece of writing I was asked to accomplish was my testimony. I remember the fall-out from fellow students who couldn’t believe they had been graded so low, because of the ‘Damascas Road’ conversion they had experienced…it was only when it was pointed out that to us that it wasn’t our stories that were being assessed but rather how our stories were being told…

Brennan Manning suggests ‘The question for all of us is what we will really aim at next. If all we are going for is placid decency, routine prayer, well-behaved worship, and comfortable compassion, then we have effectively parted company with the shipwrecked and have no fellowship with the pearl-finder.’

‘I didn’t go to the flea market the week of my abortion. I stayed home, and smoked dope and got drunk, and tried to write a little, and went for slow walks along the salt marsh with Pammy. On the seventh night, though, very drunk and just about to taking a sleeping pill, I discovered that I was bleeding heavily. It did not stop over the next hour. i was going through a pad every fifteen minutes, and I thought i should call a doctor or Pammy, but I was so disgusted that I had gotten so drunk one week after an abortion that I just couldn’t wake someone up and ask for help. I kept changing Kotex, and got very sober very quickly.

Several hours later, the blood stopped flowing, and I got in bed, shaky and sad and too wild to have another drink or take a sleeping pill. I had a cigarette and turned off the light. After a while, as I lay there, I became aware of someone with me, hunkered down in the corner, and I just assumed it was my father, whose presence I had felt over the years when I was frightened and alone. The feeling was so strong that I actually turned on the light for a moment to make sure no one was there – of course, there wasn’t. But after a while, in the dark again, I knew beyond a doubt that it was Jesus. I felt him surely as I feel my dog lying nearby as I write this.

And I was appalled. I thought about my life and my brilliant hilarious progressive friends, I thought about what everyone would think of me if I became a Christian, and it seemed an utterly impossible thing that simply could not be allowed to happen. I turned to the wall and said out loud, “I would rather die.”

I felt him sitting there on his haunches in the corner of my sleeping loft, watching me with patience and love, and I squinched my eyes shut, but that didn’t help because that’s not what I was seeing him with.

Finally I fell asleep, and in the morning, he was gone.

This experience spooked me badly, but I thought it was just an apparition, born of fear and self-loathing and booze and loss of blood. But everywhere I went, I had the feeling that a little cat was following me, wanting me to reach down and pick it up, wanting me to open the door and let it in. But I knew what would happen: you let a cat in one time, give it a little milk, and then it stays forever. So I tried to keep one step ahead of it, slamming my houseboat door when I entered or left.

And one week later, when I went back to church, I was so hungover that I couldn’t stand up for the songs, and this time I stayed for the sermon, which i just thought was so ridiculous, like someone trying to convince me of the existence of extraterrestrials, but the last song was so deep and raw and pure that I could not escape. It was as if people were singing in between the notes, weeping and joyful at the same time, and I felt like their voices or ’something’ was rocking me in its bosom, holding me like a scared kid, and I opened up to that feeling – and it washed over me.

I began to cry amd left before the benediction, and I raced home and felt the little cat running along at my heels, and I walked down the dock past dozens of potted flowers inder a sky as blue as one of God’s own dreams, and I opened the door to my boathouse, and I stood there a minute, and then I hung my head and said, “Fuck it: I quit.” I took a long deep breath and said out loud, “All right. You can come in.”

So this was my beautiful moment of conversion.’
(Anne Lamott: Travelling Mercies – Some Thoughts On Faith)

yearning

(canon 30d)

‘He is much fish still and I saw that the hook was in the corner of his mouth and he has kept his mouth tight shut. The punishment of the hook is nothing. The punishment of the hunger, and that he is against something that he does not comprehend, is everything.’
ERNEST HEMINGWAY, The Old Man and the Sea

Our yearning of that which we cannot comprehend, namely the mystery of God, can seem distant from our daily lives, because God’s presence is, most of the time, elusive. I suppose it creates a tension between our own doubts and fears and the promises God makes. The maze of human experience if you like.

here’s a….

(mr steve lawson: canon 30d)

….beautiful human.

one of a few tender gb 09 moments. we left contributors together without knowing we both needed food, so, we grabbed some and sat for best part of an hour just the two of us chewing the fat of life – can’t remember the last time we got chance. now there is no management group i only get to see him once a year but still regard him as a dear friend. we talked about all sorts and in particular a wonderful musician called jonatha brooke. i hadn’t realised he was a good friend – seems i have two friends who know her (jen gray being the other). seems we bought ‘plumb’ probably the same week back in the 90’s.

anyway, as well as being an incredible bass player, steve is one the most beautiful humans i know, blessed with grace, a wonderful intellect and an intoxicating dose of compassion for those who dwell in the margins… just wanted people to know that as i contemplate a beer this saturday morning

source unknown

(el montgo: canon 30d)

for longing

blessed be the longing that brought you here

and quickens your soul with wonder.

may you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire

that disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

may you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unsease

to discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.

may the forms of your belonging – in love, creativity and friendship

be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.

may the one you long for long for you.

may your dreams gradually reveal the destination you desire.

may a secret providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.

may your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.

may your heart be never be haunted by ghost structures of old damage.

may you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.

may you know the urgency with which god longs for you.

(father o’donohue)

this is what i do

(the ripple effect – restorative justice: canon 30d)

“No one could have convinced me in words that this process would have made such a difference to how I was feeling. My faith in the police was restored. After the conference, I started sleeping again and could switch off the light at night for the first time in months.”

Victim

joy and sorrow

(harvest: canon 30d)

Then a woman said, Speak to us of Joy and Sorrow
And he answered:
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was often times filled
with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the
potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes you spirit, the very wood that was hollowed
with knives?
When you are joyous,
look deep into your heart and you shall find
it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful
look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth,
you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay sorrow
is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at you board, remember
that the other is asleep upon you bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between you sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weight his gold and his silver, needs
must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
(from “The Prophet” By Kahlil Gibran)